Quotes in humor
The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.
It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'
Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.
In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.
If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.
Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on.
Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.