Quotes in humor

The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat.

More quotes by   Lily Tomlin view quote details

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

More quotes by   Mark Twain view quote details

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

More quotes by   Mark Twain view quote details

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

More quotes by   Steven Wright view quote details

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

More quotes by   Steven Wright view quote details

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

More quotes by   Dave Barry view quote details

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

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If it's a good script I'll do it. And if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

More quotes by   George Burns view quote details

Let him that is without stone among you cast the first thing he can lay his hands on.

More quotes by   Robert Frost view quote details

Great moments in science: Einstein discovers that time is actually money.

More quotes by   Gary Larson view quote details