Quotes in humor
The Army has carried the American ... ideal to its logical conclusion. Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race, creed and color, but also on ability.
Consultants are people who borrow your watch and tell you what time it is, and then walk off with the watch.
Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
Why should I be worried about dying? It's not going to happen in my lifetime!
Dance like it hurts,
Love like you need money,
Work when people are watching.
We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
I hate television. I hate it as much as I hate peanuts. But I can't stop eating peanuts.