Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
Absurdity, n.: A statement or belief manifestly inconsistent with one's own opinion.
Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.
Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)
Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.