Quotes in humor

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.

More quotes by   Douglas Adams view quote details

You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.

More quotes by   Al Capone view quote details

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

More quotes by   George Carlin view quote details

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.


A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.


All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

More quotes by   Matt Groening view quote details

I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

More quotes by   Matt Groening view quote details

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

More quotes by   Matt Groening view quote details

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.

More quotes by   Ronald Reagan view quote details

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

More quotes by   Will Rogers view quote details