Quotes by Bob Hope

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.

I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House.

If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf.

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties.

People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy.