Quotes by Mark Twain

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

Most people use statistics the way a drunkard uses a lamp post, more for support than illumination.