Quotes by Stephen Colbert

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

When the president decides something on Monday, he still believes it on Wednesday -- no matter what happened Tuesday.

We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in 'reality.' And reality has a well known liberal bias.

Equations are the devil's sentences.

There's an old saying about those who forget history. I don't remember it, but it's good.

I don't want someone shoving his views down my throat, unless they're covered in a crunchy candy shell.

I can't prove it, but I can say it.

In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant. One motto on the show is, 'Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.'