Quotes by Will Rogers

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.

Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.

Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock.

There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.

I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they do today.

The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.