Quotes in Uncategorized

I got this powdered water - now I don't know what to add.

I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out.

I hooked up my accelerator pedal in my car to my brake lights. I hit the gas, people behind me stop, and I'm gone.

I met this wonderful girl at Macy's. She was buying clothes and I was putting Slinkies on the escalator.

I replaced the headlights in my car with strobe lights, so it looks like I'm the only one moving.

I think God's going to come down and pull civilization over for speeding.

I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.

I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not in a row.'

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

If you are in a spaceship that is traveling at the speed of light, and you turn on the headlights, does anything happen?