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In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number.

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Last week the candle factory burned down. Everyone just stood around and sang Happy Birthday.

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My roommate got a pet elephant. Then it got lost. It's in the apartment somewhere.

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On the other hand, you have different fingers.

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Sponges grow in the ocean. That just kills me. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be if that didn't happen.

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Sponges grow in the ocean. This bothers me. How deep would it be if they didn't?

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When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction.

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When I was a little kid we had a sand box. It was a quicksand box. I was an only child... eventually.

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Retiring is getting ready to die.

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Among the notable things about fire is that it also requires oxygen to burn - exactly like its enemy, life. Thereby are life and flames so often compared.