Quotes in humor

The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.

Managers must have the discipline not to keep pulling up the flowers to see if their roots are healthy.

Some people are born on third base and go through life thinking they hit a triple.

Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law.

Management is a curious phenomenon. It is generously paid, enormously influential, and significantly devoid of common sense

Why don't they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.

The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!