Quotes in humor

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

More quotes by   Mark Twain view quote details

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Any sufficiently inept bureaucracy is indistinguishable from an organization intent on punishing those that rely on them.

More quotes by   John Hunter view quote details

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

More quotes by   Matt Groening view quote details

To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.

More quotes by   Aldous Huxley view quote details

Management by results -- like driving a car by looking in rear view mirror.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

More quotes by   Will Rogers view quote details

Export anything to a friendly country except American management.

our system of make-and-inspect, which if applied to making toast would be expressed: “You burn, I’ll scrape.”

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.