Quotes in humor

If you cannot convince them, confuse them.

Any sufficiently inept bureaucracy is indistinguishable from an organization intent on punishing those that rely on them.

To travel is to discover that everyone is wrong about other countries.

Management by results -- like driving a car by looking in rear view mirror.

In God we trust, all others must bring data.

If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them.

Export anything to a friendly country except American management.

our system of make-and-inspect, which if applied to making toast would be expressed: “You burn, I’ll scrape.”

People who get nostalgic about childhood were obviously never children.

Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.