Quotes in humor

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.


Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

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Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

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When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

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What's the collective noun for a group of statisticians?

"A quarrel"

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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

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In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

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You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.

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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.

More quotes by   Mark Twain view quote details