Quotes in humor

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

What's the collective noun for a group of statisticians?

"A quarrel"

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.