Quotes in humor

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.

I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat!

In fact, when you get right down to it, almost every explanation Man came up with for anything until about 1926 was stupid.

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.

What's the collective noun for a group of statisticians?

"A quarrel"

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.