Quotes in humor

I'm better than dirt. Well, most kinds of dirt, not that fancy store-bought dirt... I can't compete with that stuff.

I'll keep it short and sweet -- Family. Religion. Friendship. These are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business.

All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot farther with a smile and a gun.

You live and learn. At any rate, you live.